facing my demons

for ages I have kept running

away from the devils

that reside inside

my dark interiors

of camouflaged compulsions,

for ages I have found

safe gardens where

light does not reach the bottom

to show the shit, where

no one could ever peep

and see what lies hidden,

for ages I have been

troubled inside

with turbulence and nastiness,

but I have been able to

divert attention and kept going on,

for ages I have sought

pleasure in seclusion,

time and again

allowing the cycles to repeat,

basking in the comfort,

assuming no one knows,

for ages I have seen

my legs shaking

when it needed steadiness,

for the foundations

were continuously bitten by

my inner termites,

for ages my being

is being sucked

by a black hole -

self-created and self-nurtured,

and all I did was feeling guilty

after each recurrence,

but now I have decided

to pull down all walls,

cast away all shields,

and stand there

naked under the Sun!

let the fire of a colossal star,

bigger than a thousand black holes,

burn my inner impurities,

light up the eternal pyre, and

chastity me of my hesitation and guilt!

no more now

shall I run away,

no more now

shall I hide,

no more now

shall I fear,

I am now open 

to facing all my demons!

-- nayan

Tue, 13th Oct 2020

Coimbatore

(image source: https://journeyintodreams.com/demon-dream-meaning)